I play a lot of different roles in my life, as I'm sure you probably do. Mother, daughter, cousin, friend, wife (or ex-wife), and so on. Maybe you have a job title or a "Mom title" like stay-at-home-mom, or working mom, homeschooling mom...you get the idea. Those are great roles to play in life, lots of sacrifices but lots of blessings and priceless benefits too. But what if that just isn't enough??
You ever scroll through your newsfeed on Facebook and admire a friend or relative who just seems to really embrace her "thing" in life? I know women who are so crafty with DIY projects that they open Etsy shops or sell their items at craft shows. Really creative for sure, but that's not me. I have friends who run like someone is chasing them three times a week, complete with number stickers taped to their shirts and announcing their new pair of running shoes when they wear out the last pair. That's awesome...but I don't run. I have friends who have a new passion every month. They go all out..for less than 31 days. By the time they flip the calendar, they're over it. I have those moments too, but I don't necessarily want to maintain that type of fickle-ness. Yeah, I'm using it. You get my meaning.
I already have my "thing" for the most part - I was a licensed esthetician and makeup artist before I got married and had my kids. That was my passion, my "do what you love" career and it was perfect for me. Life changes and so do circumstances. Being a mom at home with my children was always my number one priority even above my passion for skin care and girly stuff. I made my choice but I had to sacrifice along the way. Eventually I looked into homeschooling and decided that was something I wanted for my children and that became my passion, and still is to this day. Don't ask me a question about homeschooling without taking a seat and perking your ears because when I get going, it's hard to stop! The same thing happens when you ask me about skin care or what lipstick I'd choose to brighten your complexion.
I could have coasted through life with my children, homeschooling them and being "beauty fairy" to my friends and loved ones for a good, long time. But remember I said life changes and so do circumstances? Well, divorce happens and it's never like it is in the movies. Unless ya'll were loaded to begin with, splitting it two ways means one or both sides get uh...there's no other word I can think of. You get screwed, that's what you get. You're lucky if you get your children and your tangible items but money-wise, fuhgetaboutit. There are many, many stories out there but for me, and the group of single mamas I know and have come to love and call sisters, this was the case for all of us. We pick which battles to fight and often, the fight still isn't over even after the final decree is signed. One day I'll share my story in more detail, but for now let's just say I've learned to juggle and doggy-paddle like a champ.
When I was married, I had a couple people privately tell me to save money on the side "just in case". Now, I play life with a clear conscience and when we were eyeballs-deep in debt, I couldn't justify squirreling away even $20. So there was nothing to hide and save for when the ship sank. Recently I heard a quote "Fill the well before you need it." Well it's too late to go backwards now, but I can surely fill the well now before I'll need it. You see, alimony only lasts so long in my case. And before long, I'll need additional income. I'm a type-A, list-making, worry-about-tomorrow type so I'm well aware of what is to come if I don't prepare.
During the course of my divorce, I had my ears and eyes open for any opportunity that would allow me to stay home with my children, continue to homeschool and avoid the chance of them losing ME, in addition to the other losses we were to suffer. Avon wasn't going to do it for me. Neither was Mary Kay, Pampered Chef or Melaleuca. There's nothing wrong with these companies at all, but they weren't for me. With my schedule, the inability to have inventory or products to show, oh the list was long for why I felt I couldn't jump in with these companies. I even considered Advocare but besides the products, I didn't feel it was quite right for me. When you know, you know and when it doesn't feel right, you know that too. I had my blog up and running again and I had purposely left opportunity open for the "wellness" aspect to balance out the "beauty". I feel now, that there was something in my mind that knew where I was heading, I just didn't know exactly what it was at that time.
Here's a little backstory: When my son was a baby, I spent many, many nights rocking him, feeding him and struggling to figure out why his little eyeballs were fixated on me when I was trying to be boring and unappealing so he'd surrender to sleep. I finally figured it out...don't look at him! I'd be rocking him to sleep, doing my dance step, cha-cha/rumba in slow-mo while watching tv and next thing I knew, I'd look down and he was asleep! Yes! But if you put him down, he'd wake up. So I spent long nights holding that boy and watching...infomercials. Yup. Beachbody infomercials and QVC. I bought Turbo Jam, Brazilian Butt Lift, Slim in 6 and more Diamonique pieces than I had opportunities to wear them. By the time my daughter was born, Chalene Johnson and Shaun T were my good buddies through the screen and I had tried almost every program from Beachbody. I had lost 20 pounds in one summer after my son and lost weight again after my daughter. The kids didn't make me fat...it was the 4-5 month mark when they would start sleeping more and I had more time to eat in peace. That's when I'd gain my weight. I was also unhappy and felt alone, so why not eat? Not like it's going to matter....but it did matter eventually, to me. Whenever there's a person who goes the extreme in some way in life, there's something going on there...whether they care to admit it or not. Just sayin'.
Over the next several years, my children were growing and I was on a search for the old me. The old me was happy, had an hour glass shape, more confidence and had a "thing" that didn't make me feel like I wasn't enough when people asked me what I do. Oh, being a mom is great and wise people know to give props, but "that's all you do?" passed my ears a few too many times. I wanted more, I just didn't know what it was or how it could happen for me. Stuffing envelopes or spending lots of money with no guarantee just wasn't what I was looking for. I knew of Beachbody and their programs and coaching opportunity...but I kept telling myself that I'm not into fitness, that I don't look the part, that no one would take me seriously so why bother. You know, those evil whispers that don't want you to succeed at anything. I kept following a couple of Beachbody coaches on Youtube and pulled out the exercise programs every once in a while. And then finally, one day, I decided to give it a real shot.
One of the coaches I followed on Youtube was having a "Sneak Peek" into what coaching was all about. It was free, it was private, it was on Facebook and all I had to do was check in once a day and read/watch the posts and videos. That's it. Just soak up the information. Not more than a few minutes a day. I was surprised that she wasn't "bugging me" throughout the Sneak Peek. She let me know she was there if I had any questions but that was it. By the end of the week, she asked me what I thought about the whole thing and if I felt like it was something that would be right for me. I was hooked by like, day 2, but I didn't tell her that. ;-) BUT, I was stuck financially. I was honest and told her my situation and that as soon as I could, I wanted a new program and I wanted the biggest bang for my buck. By the next "pay day", I was ready to take the plunge! I even said, "Let's hurry and sign me up before I gotta pay more bills!" She hooked me up with a new program I hadn't tried, Shakeology (my first time trying it!) and my new coaching information. I was welcomed to the team with open arms and finally, FINALLY, had my "thing"!!!
Since becoming a coach with Beachbody, I've had a sense of purpose in a completely different way than ever before. I have more motivation and more of a framework to my day. It's a culture that embraces lifting each other up, constantly learning and developing your sense of self. We help others by being examples ourselves, through our words and actions. We are proof that the decision to commit will only lead to success. My doubts were completely gone. I have a certification in health and nutrition but that's not necessary to be a coach. I didn't need to be at my goal weight, only to continue to strive for progress, stay accountable, motivate and encourage others on the journey along with me. It is only as good as what I put into it, whether it's my fitness or my business, the principle is the same.
The biggest thing for me was that I chose to invest in myself for once. Instead of the accessories, makeup or shoes that I thought were going to camouflage or distract from my appearance, I decided to invest in what I knew would make ME look better, from head to toe. Knowing I needed to change my priorities, and even my budget, meant that I needed to choose between spending money on "stuff", or spending it on making me a better version of myself. I decided not to spend money on clothes until I got closer to my goal weight. Saving score! No more junk food. More savings! No soda, K-cups and bottles of creamer by the arm-load, even more savings! If I didn't do a single thing with my coaching business other than receive my products at a discount and get into the best shape of my life, then I was still winning.
Plenty of coaches make the decision to do just that, they sign up because they love the programs and products and want the discount. Many find that over time, their passion for Beachbody creates such a following that they're building their business without even trying. I have more of a planned, specific vision, I'm a Capricorn, what can I say! I know that I want to build a business that embraces beauty and wellness from the inside out. If I tell clients that they should be striving to be the best version of themselves, shouldn't that mean all of them, not just their face? We are all on a journey to be better than we were yesterday, last week or even last year. I've always wanted to encourage and lift up other women and to show them that with small changes here and there, they can change their attitude, lift their spirits, be healthier and more confident.
One of my dreams since joining the league of "single moms", was to be able to help give them hope for a better day. For every woman I met who had to face this reality, the biggest concern was holding on to her children and being able to provide for them. Most were stay-at-home mothers who had no income. Bargaining for alimony and child support meant war and legal bills. 10 out 10 women in that situation would have preferred to go without financial support and be rid of the man for good and only have their children and the clothes on their backs if it meant avoiding legal bills and the stress of visitations and more. It sounds extreme and if you've never come close to this situation, just count your blessings and I pray you never will know what it's like. The point is, the money is never worth it. But reality is, we need money to survive. What if I could tell those women who are scared and wringing their hands in worry over tomorrow, that there is hope? What if I could say that there is something out there for you? If it's not coaching, then maybe something else that feels right for you. For me, this was the missing piece. I had left a space open for it without ever knowing I'd be willing to take a leap of faith. I'm so glad I did. My coach has been a constant support and our entire team of fabulous men and women are truly inspirational. All different backgrounds, from all across the country, with different stories, all with the same goal. To live a healthier life while encouraging others to improve mentally, physically and to ultimately reach their goals and succeed in life.
If I didn't take the opportunity to see what coaching was all about and to ask questions, I wouldn't have taken the biggest step in my health and fitness journey. Knowing I have to stay motivated and accountable to my team, to work and give it my all and to fully embrace this opportunity, has truly been one of the best things to come my way in a long time.
If you know someone who might benefit from an opportunity like this, please share my email with them: bpmomathome@gmail.com There's a Sneak Peek Open House starting this week and it doesn't hurt to just observe and check it out. There's no obligation and folks can learn for sure whether this is something that's right for them. It took me a long time to reach this point, and looking back I wish I would have started when my children were little. I needed this in my life back then and I was too afraid to try. It's never too late though, I don't need my "well" quite yet but you can be sure it'll be full by the time I need it. :-)
One last thing, I'm an open book, ask any question, pick my brain, or just share your story with me. I've been there, I can offer support and sometimes it's easier to reach out to a "stranger" than to someone in your inner circle when you're looking for support or direction. No matter your situation or circumstance in life, I want you to know that you have something special in you, that you are worthy and deserving and that you can turn things around if you're not exactly where you want to be right now. - My heart is with you. -
** In addition to email, you can also connect with me via Instagram @baharluvsmakeup (You can send me a DM (direct message) there as well.
