Today was a typical summer day for us, a late breakfast...followed by errands in the scorching sun, followed by a frosty snack and then an early dinner. Mixed in were games, bickering, cupcake-baking, dish-washing, folding laundry and chugging water to avoid a dehydration headache. But one thing stood out to me, made me think about it throughout the day...and lead me to wanting to share a few thoughts with you as I wait for the kiddos to drift off to sleep.
One of our errands was running to the bank to cash an Ebates check (yes, it works...if you remember to use it before you order....if you order online...and if it's available at the store you wish to order from. lol) so we ran in to our local Safeway to use the in-store bank. One of the employees is a lady we see often enough. She's asked me before about why my kids aren't in school, so she knows that we homeschool. She saw the kids with me and jokingly said, "Doesn't matter what season, the kids are with you, huh?" The male employee next to her joined in the conversation and I shared with them that having the kids with me "all the time" truly isn't a big deal. She commented that she noticed I wasn't frazzled or stressed out. I suppose some people may expect that, but I explained that for me, if you take my children out of the daily equation, it's like cutting off my limbs and then telling me to kick back, relax and enjoy the day. It's an extreme example here, yes, but that's how strongly I feel about it.
I don't go into much personal detail with folks, but the truth is, I look forward to summers with my children. I always hope to have enough money to be able to take them to the beach, to be able to eat out, do fun activities, go places and not have to worry too much about lessons or schedules or cold germs. It's the time of year where my OCD (self-diagnosed, tongue in cheek) takes a back seat in favor of "living a little". These last couple of years however, summers aren't only mine to plan. My ex husband gets summer visitation with the children and for the first time last year, they were gone for 2 weeks straight. This summer was 3 weeks. Luckily, both years I ended up being busy with friends, relatives or getting food poisoning (last year) so the time went by and I managed to survive. As long as my children came back to me in one piece, I'd survive. At least that's what I kept telling myself. Sure enough, we all survived. Not that it's complete torture, but given the choice, the three of us would much rather be together.
Do we fight? Sure we do! Do we annoy the ever-lovin' whatsit out of each other? You bet! But as fast as the tempers flare, the love, hugs and kisses come back to us and all returns to "normal". I always say, the bond between mother and child is not understood by any other type of relationship. Now not all mothers feel the way I do....and not all children feel as mine do.
There are many, many...many types of homeschoolers out there, with various backgrounds and reasons for wanting to choose this path. Out of all these types, there are two categories I separate them into: The Convictions and The Reasons. "Wait..what?" Let me explain. There are those of "us" (because I fall into this category), that feel convicted, deeply lead and purpose so strongly to follow this path in educating our children, that the passion is overwhelming in our conversations about why we do what we do. It's not an overprotection, it's a blessing and a right, an honor and calling for us. There wasn't a particular reason that we "needed" to choose this path, but rather we found this way and knew instantly that we had hit something profound. The option to turn back, to give in to something easier, to avoid the sacrifices or pass the baton just wasn't in our realm of thinking. It's the same kind of thinking I had long ago before I ever had children. When people asked me why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I answered, "Why would I want to have children, only to have someone else raise them?" Career was never my priority, though I did find my passion in skin care and esthetics. My true passion, my dream and my eventual reality, was to become a mother. I always wanted a boy and a girl (because I needed a little girl so I could move past my Cabbage Patch mothering skills, and a boy because I was dying of curiosity, being an only child, I needed to know what boys were like!). Once that first child was a toddler (the boy gave me the first-time mothering challenge FO SHO lol!), I began my research. Over the next couple of years, I felt the conviction and passion growing and there was no turning back.
Now, The Reasons category....this type of homeschooler started for...you guessed it, a reason. Learning disabilities, health issues, troubles in the classroom, there are so many reasons. Bullying, school shootings, anxiety, etc. There's just a reason or multiple reasons for choosing this path. Even if eventually they feel as strongly as The Convictions, it's never quite the same. The main clue is that reasons change. Many of these families decide to try school again or implement school-like curriculum at home. Some may come to doubt their abilities at a point and change directions. I've heard many moms from this category change their minds from year to year, depending on their own personal mood, believe it or not. The same watery reasons for beginning are followed by weak excuses to quit. Now this isn't a judgment against those families homeschooling for a valid reason! I think it's an amazing blessing and privilege to be able to homeschool and give your children the option and to do what's best for your family. The point I'm trying to make is that the frazzled, stressed out "I can't wait to schools to open!" type of parent can, sometimes, be one of the homeschoolers in this category. That's what I was trying to explain during my conversation at the bank earlier today.
Perhaps if I had personal plans that were inconvenienced by my children being home, or spending long summer days with my children was grating more nerves than I have available, I might be inclined to "try school for a year and see how it goes". But as the summer comes to an end, I find the tug on my heart and the feeling of gratitude overwhelming me. I've fought hard to be able to continue homeschooling my children and it was worth every penny, every tear and every prayer that my conviction and passion for educating my children be a testimony for someone out there that wonders "Can I do it??" As the saying goes, where there's a will, there's a way...and my will is stronger than ever.
P.S. I cannot WAIT to order my boy's 4th grade curriculum....I still can't believe I have a 4th grader and 1st grader!! My heart is FULL. :-)))
